Facebook status postings: maybe there are only five?

There is something about Facebook social networking dynamics that seems to motivate a patten of similarity in postings, be it status updates, comments, or notes. The status updates, in particular, seem to feel like they come from the same categories regardless who the person is. This seems to be phenomenon one may observe at other social venues (e.g. how people act at church versus at a party at work versus at a party in downtown versus if they are interviewed on television versus when they are with family, etc. etc.), so it is not altogether unexpected. What is more interesting to me is how much the mode of the social context affects the flavor. Here is a non-authoritative, non-exhaustive ad hoc attempt by me to categorize some of the Facebook status categories I have seen:

"Homey feelings"
This status update is to publicly share with others the fact that deep down inside we prefer the "quiet, low key benefits of life at home" in contrast to the goal-oriented, high energy, pop-buzz lifestyle we experience at work, observe on television or that exists in some other mode or venue. Some examples of this type of posting might be "Jolene is hunkering down on a cold-rainy day. MMM!! Hot chocolate" or "Stephen is looking forward to a quiet morning with the kids".

"I am just too busy"
This status update is to publicly share that you too participate in "too busy to exist" life, and that you have just about had enough. You want everyone to know just how tired you are because, gosh-darnit, you are being stretched way too thin. The context of "busy" is allowed to extend to anything, be it life at home "Gretel is exhausted from helping Jeret with his algebra. Help!", to life at work "Christof is pulling another all-nighter writing Weenus reports!" to the social calendar "Zando feels stretched too little butter over too much bread after dancing naked for three days at burning man."

"I am above it all"
Pick a societal phenomenon and publicly declare that you are too good for it. Irony is a big payoff here, so if the societal phenomenon is directed at social networking then all the better. The irony deepens even more if you are incredibly guilty of whatever you are publicly declaring yourself too good for. Great examples, "Marcus is done with cel phones! Wait until you get out of the car and talk face to face you dolt!", "Mira doesn't want to know your status."

"I am so freakin' connected"
Drop names. Drop references. Go places and tell people where you went and who you saw. The purpose here to demonstrate for everybody that are more connected, hip and socially cool that most around you. This particular status works really well when disguised as a "I am just too busy" status. Hip examples, "Merlot thinks the Society for Creative Anachronisms just isn't what it used to be..." and "Lizzie is just back from the VIP presentation of 'Live With the Osborne Family' and is too tired after all those caviar and vodka shooters."

"I am enigmatic, strange, and smarter than you"
The purpose of this status update is to have people simultaneously say "Wow, this person is SO smart!" and ask "What the heck are they talking about?" Drop names, drop references, but unlike "I am so freakin' connected", which necessitates people understand your references, make sure that the names and references are so non-sequitir and lacking so much context that everyone will feel like an idiot for not being able to follow you. Frequently, meaningless semantic phrases can substitute for obscure references. Examples, "Gregory isn't going to do what they are telling him..." or "Felicity was but isn't unless she does."